


The Demon's Horns

by StarScreamLoki



Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Loki (Marvel)'s Punishments, Loki is a mess, Odin's A+ Parenting, Thor is mean, Violence, mentions of broken families, mentions of divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScreamLoki/pseuds/StarScreamLoki
Summary: Loki and Sterre are on a holiday in Switzerland where Sterre is doing some Christmas shopping. Loki’s behavior suddenly changes to a dark mood and drags her back to their rented house. Sterre is done with his behavior and strikes a deal with him to tell her why he hates the holidays so much. He takes the bait and it turns out his story is even more heartbreaking than hers.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic for the Holiday challenge from @loki-the-fox. You can read the original post [here](https://loki-the-fox.tumblr.com/post/179786883987/rivers-holiday-marvel-writing-challenge-im-back). My chosen prompts: “Where’s all of your holiday spirit, you Scrooge?” and I picked a free prompt which became “The legends have to come from somewhere.”
> 
> Never thought I would write a Christmas story because I don’t do fluffy and sweet stuff, so of course this turned out a dark and twisted. Eheheh, I regret nothing! Everything in bold is Loki telling his story from the first POV. A big shout-out to @wintertink for kicking my brain into gear for this story, and a shout-out to @shewritesoccasionally as well who inspired me to write this fic in this format with her awesome fic Tell his Story. Thanks lovelies <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never thought I would write a Christmas story because I don’t do fluffy and sweet stuff, so of course this turned out a dark and twisted. Eheheh, I regret nothing! Everything in bold is Loki telling his story from the first POV. A big shout-out to @wintertink for kicking my brain into gear for this story, and a shout-out to @shewritesoccasionally as well who inspired me to write this fic in this format with her awesome fic Tell his Story. Thanks lovelies <3

“What do you think of these?” Sterre asked as she pushed a snowglobe in Loki’s hands, a smirk on her face. “I think I should get one for everyone. They are expensive though.”

Loki turned the item over in his hands, snow trickling in the waters surrounding a fearsome creature that looked like a warped version of a man and a goat. A sour look formed on his face and he put the snowglobe back on the shell.

“We’re leaving,” he said solemnly.

“What you don’t like Krampus?’ she joked.

“We’re going home. Now!” Loki said stern, a little bit of anger crossing his features.

Loki and Sterre had gone for holidays to Switzerland. It wasn’t the holiday season yet but Sterre had wanted a vacation before the festivities would begin. A little time away to escape before the endless turmoil of family-visits would start.

They had rented a little house in the town for a couple of days, and even though Christmas wasn’t even close, Switzerland lived up to its reputation, Christmas markets adorning every street corner and the Christmas spirit already hovering in the cold air.

“Where’s all of your holiday spirit, you Scrooge?” she berated him. “I know they are expensive bu-” her sentence got broken as Loki grabbed her shoulder and started to steer her out of the store.

Loki didn’t answer, his demeanor had suddenly shifted from calm and content, to dark and gloomy.

They throdded through the snow back to their little house and when they arrived Sterre was feeling very frustrated, even angry, for Loki hadn’t spoken a single word the entire time even though she had tried to make conversation with him.

With a bang she closed the door behind them, shaking of her coat and trading her boots for warm slippers.

She flopped down on the couch following Loki’s every move like a hawk. The house was little, a living room with an open kitchen, a bedroom and a bathroom, nothing more, so there was little space for the God to escape to.

Or for her to escape to.

“Okay, what’s going on?” she suddenly blurted, completely fed up with the pacing Trickster.

His head snapped in her direction, anger still in his eyes although it had lessened a little.

Sterre was used to the anger and was hardly fazed by it anymore. She knew he wasn’t going to hurt her even when she pushed him.

“What?” he snarled.

“Everything was fine until we were in the store. Why are you suddenly so angry?”

Loki stopped his pacing and his green eyes locked with her grey ones. “I don’t like these-” he made a motion with his hand, “-festivities.”

“I’ve noticed,” she answered him cooly. “Any particular reason why?”

“Why do you have to keep dragging me into this stupid celebration while you know I hate it?” he countered, completely ignoring her question.

Sterre let out a shivering sigh as she tried to control her own temper. He had a way of pushing her buttons and she was very able in returning that favor - their fights were always nasty, both of them fighting for dominance but Sterre didn’t want to fight now.

“Come here,” she said calmly, even warmly, and extended her hand to him as she smiled.

Loki fists clenched at his sides, frustration creeping over his face, but then he gave in and complied, taking her hand and letting her pull him on the couch.

“A story for a story, Loki. I tell you why I drag you into these festivities, you tell me why you abhor them so much.”

Loki was silent for a moment, contemplating his options. He wasn’t really keen on telling her why he hated the holidays so much, Christmas in particular, but he didn’t want to have a fight with her and the offer she made seemed fair.

She scooted closer to him, nuzzling his chest and pushing her cheek to his shoulder. “You can’t keep your walls up forever darling. Talk to me.”

Loki sighed and then nodded. “Fine,” he conceded, “but you tell me first.”

“Only if you don’t back out afterwards,” she said as she looked up at his feigned hurt expression. “It wouldn’t be the first time, Trickster God.”

Loki smirked. “Promised.”

Sterre snuggled a little closer to him and Loki put up his arm so he could wrap it around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“When I was little we always celebrated Christmas together. Me, my mom and dad, and my little sister,” Sterre began. “Christmas was…  _ is _ my favorite time of my year and in our house it always started early. My dad would take us out to the vendor where we bought our christmas tree, and once home my mother, sister and I would always decorate it - it was a thing we did together.

“We would laugh, tease each other, wrap my father in a string of lights and put candy on the branches from which my sister and I were allowed to eat one each day.”

“Your father allowed being wrapped in light strings?” Loki asked incredulous which drew a chuckle from her.

“No, he would try to fight it but three women barreling down on him proved even too much for him. I think he always relented to indulge us or because he didn’t want to break the light string. At that time they were expensive little things,” she explained amused.

Loki nodded.

“Anyway, at Christmas eve we would visit the family. Even though my parents only had me and my sister, they had a big family themselves and I got to see all my nieces, nephews, uncles and aunts, and of course my grandparents. It was busy but as a little kid it was fun and we would all play together - the kids I mean.

“Later that evening we would all share a meal, laughing and talking before we drove home.”

Sterre was silent for a moment and smiled at the memory.

“Then Christmas would arrive and my little sister and I would barge down the stairs to find the presents underneath the tree, all wrapped up in pretty paper with ribbons and names on it.

“We would be in our pajamas whilst having an extensive breakfast with various delights before we moved to the living room to unwrap the presents. One picked a present and then gave it to the person it was meant for. That person unwrapped the gift and grabbed the next present for the next person, and so on until all presents were unwrapped.”

“Like a game?” Loki asked while he stroked her hair. She nodded. “But what did you do the rest of the day if all the presents were already unpacked?”

“We’d play with them. I think my parents liked it that we unwrapped the presents in the morning because their contents would occupy us for the rest of the day until dinner. They finally had some rest after the family the previous evening and us two hyped kids,” she chuckled.

“We played with the presents until dinner time. My mother is an excellent cook and she likes cooking too, and on Christmas she would always cook something special instead of our regular meals. The dessert was always my favorite.”

“ _ That _ I can imagine as I always have to fight you for the chocolate,” Loki smirked.

Sterre stuck her tongue out and gave him a playful swat on the arm. It was something she and the God shared - they both had a sweet tooth and especially loved chocolate.

“After dinner we would watch Christmas movies,” she continued. “We all curled up on the couch with tea and more sweets,  _ chocolate _ , even though we were still stuffed from dinner.”

She fell silent then as she seemed to relive the memories, a wistful smile on her face.

“Well, that is nice but it still does not explain why you keep dragging me into this,” Loki said with a hint of anger.

Sterre sighed. “As you know my parents got divorced when I was fifteen and after the family fell apart... I never got to see my nieces and nephews again, things got ugly between me and my father, and things have never been the same,” she said with a hoarse voice, tears welling in her eyes.

“After the family had fallen apart I was often alone, including on Christmas, and seeing others spending time with their loved ones while you are alone eating a frozen pizza,” Sterre’s voice had gone down to a whisper as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat away.

“It hurts and I guess… I guess I just want to relive those times of warmth and sharing again. Or at least try to get as close as possible and I want to share that with you.”

A tear trickled down her cheek and Loki pulled her in a tight hug as he pinked the tear away.

“I think… I think I understand that,” he said warmly, his own voice wavering a little.

For a couple of minutes they sat there, Sterre wrapped in his arms as Loki held her tight, sharing each others warmth and comfort as Sterre calmed down again.

She looked at him and Loki placed a kiss on her forehead which made her giggle. “Okay, your turn!”

Loki unwrapped himself from their tangle of limbs, getting up from the couch.

“Hey! You promised. No backsies!” Sterre exclaimed indignant.

“No,” Loki said as he moved to the kitchen, his back to her. “Your story was long, but mine is longer and I think it is nicer to tell you that with a glass of wine in my hands and the fire in the hearth burning.” With his lasts words one of his hands glowed green and the fire sprang to life, the flames crackling and giving a sense of comfort.

He pulled out two glasses and a bottle of wine and walked back to the couch, sitting down and pouring them both a glass.

“Well, it must be a long story indeed if you’re going to grab a whole bottle for it,” Sterre chuckled and accepted the glass he dangled in front of her nose.

Loki nodded in response. “First of all, you must understand that my concept of time differs from yours,” he started. “At the time this happened is was two hundred twenty years young I think. It is a very confusing time for we are adults, in body and mind, yet we have not shed our childhood. It is not what you mortals call puberty but something akin to it and far more complex. It is incomparable to what you Humans know because you don’t have such long lives and-”

“Are you going to lecture me on the concept of time or are you going to get on with the story?” Sterre interrupted him slightly irritated.

Loki growled and he returned an irritated expression at her interruption. “Don’t interrupt me again.”

“Don’t count on that,” she said cheeky as she took a sip from her wine and smiled at him.

Loki growled again but continued nonetheless. “Enfin, I was very young, still practicing with my Seidr, and at the time the Bifrost wasn’t closed to all the realms as it is now…”

**I ran through the halls of the palace of Asgard looking for my brother, skidding to a stop as I found him. “Thor! Thor! Look what I can do,” I said happily.**

**“What? Another one of your tricks, little brother?” he laughed and patted me roughly on the back, knocking the air from my lungs.**

**“Yes,” I exclaimed gleefully after coughing. “Mother taught me this morning.”**

**Thor smiled and made a gesture to show him.**

**I concentrated hard as I put out my right hand, palm up, and a green magic ball began to form. This I had done before, it was one of the basics of Seidr and not really special, but I wanted to cast a small illusion around us of a wolf running after a deer.**

**Thor peered intently at the green orb as he patiently waited to see what more would happen.**

**Slowly the air around us started to waver and on my left the likings of a wolf started to form and on my right the likings of a deer. Their forms were still warped and the edges of the illusion looked like torn rags, but I knew I was getting there and kept concentrating on the task at hand.**

**Small beads of sweat started to form on my forehead and warmth spread through my bones. I wiggled my fingers in patterns to guide my Seidr and slowly things were taking shape.**

**My confidence grew enough to set the pace a little higher, pushing my efforts to make the illusion appear quicker, but the more energy I put behind it, the more I felt my control slip.**

**The deer and the wolf started to distort, edging closer to each other and then fusing together. I was now looking at a warped beast that was even uglier than a Bilgesnipe. A little bit of fright filled my heart and it made me lose my concentration entirely and the last shred of control I had slipped through my fingers - quite literally.**

**With a green flash and sparkling dust my illusion dissolved into nothingness. “Damn!” I exclaimed irritated. “I did it this morning,” I muttered under my breath and started over, my fingers glowing green again.**

**Suddenly Thor interrupted me, my concentration breaking a second time as he let out a roaring and mocking laugh which seemed to fill the room. “You cannot do anything, can you Loki?” he said vicious.**

**My magic dissolved from my fingers and a confused yet irritated expression crept on my face as I looked at my brother, but he kept laughing although it started to die away a little.**

**“Stop it!” I said angrily, Thor’s words stinging me immensely. “I have practiced very hard on that!”**

**He laughed again in that same mocking manner. “Yet you failed, and now you are whining. Come on, brother. Wielding Seidr is for women, you’ll never be good at it. You might as well give up now.”**

**“If for once you could look passed all the stigma’s then-”**

**“You cannot even wield a sword, you cannot properly fight and even in this you fail! What makes you even think you can master this puny art? Just give up, brother, you’ll never excel at anything,” he interrupted me vicious, still chuckling.**

**Anger washed over me but at the same time I felt my throat tighten, tears starting to sting my eyes as he chastised me down, telling me once again between the lines that I was good for nothing.**

**It hurt, made me feel small, always the little brother in the shadow of the golden boy.**

**I wanted to speak, to shout at him to stop it. I wanted to tell him how hard I had practiced on this and that if he was patient I could show him, but my throat was tightened and no words could get passed my lips.**

**Then Thor said something he seldom said, the words aimed to enrage me - which they did - to hurt me even more and he drove the last nail in my coffin. My rage came barreling down like a tidal wave and I wasn’t able to bite it back this time.**

**“You will never be me,” Thor flicked scornful.**

“That is just so cruel of him! Why would he say that?” Sterre interrupted incredulous.

“Well, we jested each other often as brothers do, but I have to admit, this was one of the times where he had gone too far,” Loki answered but a little bit of sadness crept on his face and he was picking at his hands. “Yet, it wasn’t the first time he had said it and neither was it the last.”

Sterre huffed and angrily said, “the next time I see him I’m going to punch him for that.”

“Though I admit I would love to see that, I strongly advise against it,” Loki laughed. “You think slapping me feels like hitting stone? Well, Thor is worse and punching him would do him no harm and will leave you with broken fingers.”

“Still, I could try,” she muttered poutingly under her breath.

Loki shook his head. “I’d rather have you not. But let me continue…”

**I was hurt, felt mocked, and again I felt like I had to live in the shadow of the almighty Thor if I could not live up to his reputation one way or another. I was not the golden boy everyone favored, and I indeed, would never be like him.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything in bold is Loki telling his story from the first POV.

**“Maybe I don’t want to be like you!” I shouted at Thor,  my face contorted with anger.**

**He laughed again in that mocking tone as before. “If you cannot adapt the throne will never be yours.”**

**I gritted my teeth and bared them at him, growling in the back of my throat and feeling very much like the wolf I had tried to create.**

**I felt angry, so angry, and my hands glowed green. Why was he so short-sighted? Why did he hate me so much at times and said those cruel words? It hadn’t been the first time he had said that and the worst part was that I could detect no lie in his words.**

**“Now what, Loki?” he taunted as he looked at my hands. “You’re going to cast and fail at another illusion with your glowing hands? Or are you going to try and punch me?”**

**Tears burned my eyes, anger and pain coursing through my veins, and my hands balled into fists. This went beyond a little teasing between brothers, he was set out to hurt me on purpose, yet I knew not why.**

**“You’ll never succeed in that either, just give up,” he continued. “You’re not strong enough, you’re not-”**

**“ENOUGH!” I screamed at him and at the same time I felt my Seidr lash out at him. He got blown off his feet, half tumbling through the air, half sliding over the floor and hitting furniture as he crashed into a golden pillar.**

**For a moment I was baffled at what happened but the assault had not deterred him and he continued his mocking as he started to put himself on his feet.**

**“Stop it!” I screamed and my Seidr lashed out at him again, gripping him and smashing him into the wall. “Stop mocking me! Stop telling me I’m weak,** **_for I am not_ ** **!” I screamed at him, my magic keeping him pinned against the wall. “Do you know what it feels like when you say such things? Do you even understand how hurtful your words are?”**

**At that moment I felt my Seidr pull at all my emotional turmoil and it seemed to transfer to my brother who struggled against my might. Instead of something mental happening to him cuts started to appear on his flesh on a multitude of places. Blood trickled from his wounds which became deeper by the second.**

**He screamed and I could see a mix of pain and frustration creeping over his face as he trashed his unseen bonds, but the more he trashed the angrier I got and the more wounds started to appear.**

**I was horrified by what unfolded in front of my eyes but I could not stop it either. My anger was at war with the regret I immediately felt as my Seidr seemed intend on tearing my brother apart, but I could not find the reins easily or quickly to make it stop.**

**“Your words are hurtful and spiteful and you never even seem to consider that, Thor!” I bit nasty.**

**At a point he relented his fight, giving up and going limp while still plastered against the wall, and slowly I felt my Seidr reducing in strength as my anger seemed to slowly deprive as well.**

**When my magic was completely gone from my hands Thor slumped down to the floor with a grunt, badly wounded but an angry fire burning in his eyes.**

**I was still angry but more so did I feel guilty for what I had done,** **_what my Seidr had done_ ** **, but I was also scared. Scared of the anger that shone in his blue eyes but even more frightened of my own powers.**

**I briefly looked at my hands and then back to Thor who was struggling to get to his feet. It was at that point I turned on my heel and ran away from the scene, fearing for my life in multiple ways.**

**I ran through the halls to my chambers, tears streaming down my face as I slammed the door shut behind me.**

Sterre was gaping at him, her eyes wide in shock and horror and she swallowed.

“Seidr can have a will of its own and it was also in that moment I had discovered I had the power of telekinesis,” Loki explained casually with a shrug.

She nodded albeit it be a little stunned, and he continued his story.

**I locked myself in my chambers and hours passed by as I cried, screamed and raged. Eventually I calmed down enough to read a book and it was late in the afternoon when someone rapt my door quite persistent.**

**I told them to go away, just like I had done with the servants, but they were insistent and wouldn’t leave until I opened the door.**

**A guard stood in front of me, a couple of Einherjar behind him. “The Allfather has requested your presence,” he informed me with a monotone voice.**

**“And I see he has send for an escort,” I stated displeased. I had not even spoken to my father yet and I already knew this was going to end badly for me.**

**I walked down the halls with my escorts, my head held high, my face unreadable while on the inside I was filled with dread.**

**Once they had delivered me to the front of the dais of the throne, the Einherjar left and I was left alone with my father who was glowering down on me from his high perch.**

**“You requested my presence?” I asked still displeased.**

**“You have hurt your brother. What have you to say in defence?” Odin asked solemnly.**

**Straight to the point and straight for my throat.**

**“Because he hurt me,” I bit venomously, the anger I had felt at the moment during my confrontation with Thor returning to me again.**

**“You’re not denying?”**

**“It was an accident!” I exclaimed, the guilt and remorse I felt already pressing heavy on me like they had done the passed hours. “I didn’t mean to hu-”**

**Odin raised a hand to silence me and a little confusion crept over my face as I recoiled from his cold gesture.**

**“I’m disappointed, Loki,” my father berated me. “You should have known better than trying to settle a score.”**

**“I wasn’t settling a score, I was-”**

**Again his gesture silenced me and I gritted my teeth as frustration washed over me.**

**“You have hurt your brother and you have to learn that your actions will have consequences,” my father stated cold.**

**“It was an accident, I didn’t mean it to happen!” I shouted at him, silently begging the Norns that he would listen to me and hear my side of the story, but the cold and detached look in his eyes told me he wasn’t to be reasoned with.**

**“Thor was gravely injured by your doing!” the All-father bellowed back, his voice so loud it seemed to thud of the walls and bounce back into my ears over and over again.**

**I swallowed. He wouldn’t listen. Thor had probably already told him his side of the story and therefore he would not listen to mine. I raised my chin in defiance and wiped all emotion of my face, building a wall.**

**“And for that I’ll have to have you disciplined,” Odin said gravely.**

**“Father, please listen,” I pleaded but he continued speaking, ignoring my plea.**

**“A hundredth lashes of the whip for the next seven days from which the first two days twenty five a day, the remainder ten lashes a day,” and he pounded Gungnir to the floor to seal his verdict.**

“That is just cruel! No! Beyond cruel. It is evil.” Sterre was seething, her face contorted in anger.

“Not the worst of his punishments but not one of the more mild ones either,” Loki shrugged casually.

She gave him an astonished look.

“I am the God of Mischief and sometimes I have to take the brunt for that,” he grinned a little sheepish.

“But this is unfair,” Sterre almost screamed. “He didn’t even listen to you! It was beyond your control and Thor was mean. And-”

“Ssshh,” Loki hushed her, gently caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Let me continue my story.”

She nodded meekly, anger and disbelief still in her eyes, but she crawled back in his arms. Loki softly rubbed her upper arm almost absentmindedly and took another sip of his wine.

**The doors to the throne room opened and two guards came up to me to take me away.**

**I felt broken, unheard and frustrated. I didn’t deserve this as Thor had gotten what he had come for. By now my anger was so pent up that I wanted nothing more than escape my shameful faith and I broke free from the grasp of the guards, knocking them down.**

**I ran through the halls, shouts following me with guards at my tail and whenever I encountered a guard who came to close, I fought them with whatever was available. Apparently my Seidr wasn’t done with aiding me yet, and just like with Thor my magic seemed to get a life of is own, protecting me.**

**I wanted to question the nature of that, the mechanics, but now was not the time. I also had a hard time battering down the fear that accompanied it, hoping I would mangle up another person like I had done to my brother.**

**It was a wild chase through Asgard eventually I found myself on the Bifrost, not only guards but Einherjar at my heels as well.**

**I frantically looked around for a way out but I could find none. In a spur of the moment - my decision wrought from nothing but sheer panic - I decided to shapeshift.**

**So I turned into a goat, at least that was the plan. Bef-**

“Wait! You turned yourself in a goat? Why?” Sterre asked indignant.

“Well, it seemed a good idea at the time,” Loki responded biting his lip.

She looked up at him, her expression perplexed. “How is that a good idea?”.

Loki shrugged, not even fully knowing the answer himself. The ways of his mind could be fickle at times and this memory was somewhat clouded. “Well, it’s easier than a snake because I wouldn’t lose any limbs over it.”

She gave him a horrified expression but he quickly soothed her. “I would not  _ actually _ lose any limbs but it’s easier to transform into something that has legs to replace my arms and legs than a creature with no limbs at all.” Loki was silent for a moment before he suddenly exclaimed, “Oh, I remember why I choose a goat!”

**When I reached the observatory the Rainbow-bridge just opened, some farmers entering our realm with goats in tow which they had just picked up from Midgard.**

**I didn’t know why they were transporting the life-stock, probably had something to do something with Asgard not having goats of its own, but I recognize an opportunity when I see one.**

**Quickly I called for my Seidr, praying to the Norns that I would be able to shapeshift into a goat so I could hide among them and just stay low for a while until everything would have blown over.**

**However, my magic wasn’t as strong as I’d liked it to be and shifting was slow progress.**

**I saw the Einherjar coming for me, a puzzled look crossing on Heimdall’s features as he tried to make sense from the scene unfolding before him.**

**I could feel my limbs stretch, twist and turn but it wasn’t going quick enough. Two Einherjar came close, silver chains with shackles dangling from their hands as they dashed for me, clasping one of the shackles around my wrist - which wasn’t quite Aesir anymore but neither was it a goat’s leg - and the other hooking somewhere painfully between my ribs during the struggle.**

**What I hadn’t expected was that my magic would just halt, trapping the shackle between my ribs.**

**Normally such chains edged with runes would nullify magic, stopping the process and taking it away. I should have automatically shifted back the moment the iron clasped around my wrist but something was different about these silver chains. Instead of my magic getting blocked it seemed to freeze instead, leaving me halfway through my transformation.**

**With a heavy blow I knocked the Einherjar from his feet and jumped for the portal of the Bifrost which was still open. Heimdall tried to close the gate in front of me but I proved to be just a little quicker, taking a leap and dashing through.**

**The colors of the Bifrost flew by, the struggle with the chains and my Seidr making me a little dizzy, and with a heavy thud I landed on muddy ground.**

**Quickly I looked up to the sky and pushed myself to my feet… or hooves actually, and sprinted away to a small mountain ridge nearby.**

**I could tell from the position of the stars and the lights that were burning in the distance I had indeed ended up on Midgard and not another realm, or worse, some place in between I knew naught about.**

**In the distance I saw the Bifrost open again, a swat of Einherjar emerging from the colorful rays, and they immediately started to investigate the area. One of them seemed to get air of my tracks, pointing at the disturbed soil that were marked with strange patterns that had been my footprints, and I cursed under my breath.**

**I didn’t know what my predicament exactly was at the moment, but I didn’t want to fight them and I** **_definitely_ ** **didn’t want to go with them. After all, they had started this mess that was my current form, let alone facing my father again.**

**I tracked deeper into the mountain, keeping an eye on my pursuers, and after what felt like hours I saw the Rainbow-bridge opening once more, the Einherjar giving up on their search and returning to Asgard.**

**With a heavy sigh a sat down on a rock, the wind howling around the mountain pass and whipping through my hair.**

**I took a couple of moments to steady myself, allow for some rest, before I assessed the situation. For the first time, saw what I actually had became - a cross-breed of an Aesir and a goat.**

“So you looked like Mr. Tumnus from Narnia?”

Loki remembered the movie, they had watched it last week, before he answered musingly, “no, it was much worse than that, actually.”

**I felt a weight on my head and when I reached over I discovered a twisted set of horns protruding from my skull. They were long and bend backwards, their texture rough and jaded.**

**My hands glided down over my face to rub it and I was met with the same rough texture and my features were deformed to something I couldn’t describe by touch alone. I even doubted if I could describe it upon seeing my reflection in a mirror.**

**I looked down at the rest of my body, splotches of long, dark fur covering me where my attire had broken or never had been in the first place. I could feel that I still had some normal skin left as I felt the cold wind nip at it, but it bore the same rough texture as my face.**

**I lifted my arm, the chains dangling from the shackle making an eerie sound in the silence of the night, the other chain still caught somewhere in the flesh between my ribs.**

**My hands had turned to claws and my feet to hooves. It took me some time to shred the leather to pieces to free myself from their confinement. My armor wouldn’t help me now and would only be a restriction instead of aid.**

**Dread filled me once again and I called for my Seidr, hoping to shift back to normal - or the goat as I had intended - but it wouldn’t heed my call and the runes on the silver metal flared to life.**

**I took a moment to read the runes. They clearly stated that they would stop my Seidr and not nullify it as was custom. It were powerful runes that wouldn’t fade with time, nor was I able to counter-attack them - that would take many more decades of study. The metal seemed like something that had been forged by the dwarves but I felt testy and tried to break them with all my might, but even my Godly strengths could not break them.**

**With a sigh I got up from my rock and started down the mountain trail, lights in the valley indicating there was a village nearby.**

**I quickly discovered that my hooves aided me in walking the rough terrain of the mountain and it didn’t take long before I had reached the valley, standing some yards away from the edge of the village.**

**I contemplated my options because I needed help. I needed to get the shackles off so I could turn back, but for that I needed the help of the Mortals.**

**It despised me.** **_Me!_ ** **Loki the Trickster in need of aid of lowly Humans. Yet I had no other options. I felt lost and I felt alone, but mostly I felt ashamed for both my dreadful appearance and that a Prince of the Realm Eternal needed the help. I was a God after all, and Gods weren’t supposed to look like monsters unless they originated from the dark realms.**

**Yet, I had no other options and with heavy feet - or hooves actually - I walked into the small town, sticking to the shadows to observe and search for someone who would be able to aid me.**

**With every passing step the chains rattled and it wasn’t long before I got discovered by someone.**

**The woman seemed brave but as soon as she laid eyes upon me she screamed like a banshee. I tried to calm her down, assure her I meant no harm - not this time - and that she should listen to her God, but she wouldn’t reason. Panic flared to life in my chest and I reached for her face to clamp my hand over her mouth, momentarily forgetting my hands had became claws. Instead of silencing her scream, I silenced her forever.**

**Weak creatures those Humans.**

**However, more panic bubbled within me and I quickly ran out of the village, hiding in the shadows of the mountain.**

**Shame, frustration and anger washed over me again for there was nothing I could do to help this situation. Thus I screamed in vain hope it would ease my turmoil. The guttural and animalistic howl that escaped my chapped lips filled the night, alerting the villagers.**

**But the scream that emerged from my throat bore no relief for tangled mess of my feelings. Even worse, the sound struck fear in my own heart.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything in bold is Loki telling his story from the first POV.

**Sunrise was approaching fast as I looked up at the sky and decided to find a place to hide for the day. The villagers would surely come to search for the source of the sound that had penetrated the night and I didn’t want to be there as they came baring pitchforks and torches.**

“Pitchforks and torches? That is something from a movie,” Sterre mused.

“For me not so much,” Loki answered wry. “Don’t forget that this was almost eighthunderd years ago and these were the middle-ages,” he berated her.

Sterre paled a little at that. Sometimes she forgot that Loki was over a thousand years old even though he looked like he was barely thirty.

**I laid low for the entire day, resting now and then, finding some water and a little shelter in the form of a shallow cave.**

**Night fell and I went back to the village.**

**When I reached the edges of the little town it was already surrounded by the males who took up the defences of the village if necessary, torches and various weapons in their hands to protect their loved ones from the thread that was me.**

**Biting back a chuckle I realized that the Humans were still no match for me, even stripped of my Seidr and weapons. I still had my Godly strengths and speeds but they wouldn’t aid me now.**

**If only Humans weren’t so stupid and understood who stood in front of them, then they would have thought twice instead of showing such a pitiful assemblage.**

**Still I needed the aid and I only needed one person who would heed my command, who would help me, and I needed to separate one from the herd.**

**Sticking to the shadows I seized up the line of Humans that had formed protectively around the village, their eyes wearily scanning their surroundings.**

**My rattling chains often gave me away and I had to keep moving in order to not be discovered. The smell of fear hung in the air so thick, I could almost taste it.**

**Suddenly I spotted a young man who was clutching his sword so hard with fear that his knuckles had gone white. He was my best option and was probably too afraid to make a move against me. He was my target.**

**It took me awhile to separate him from the herd but in the end I succeeded, cornering him between a couple of houses.**

**“Human, don’t be scared,” I commanded, my voice sounding somewhere between low and guttural, and high-pitched at the same time. I raised my hands in the air to show I was no thread, putting on a warm smile. “I am a God and I mean you no harm.”**

**Whatever it was that I had done or said the man’s face contorted in raw fear, his eyes going wide, nothing but loose letters falling from his lips as he scrambled for words.**

**It was at that moment that I wasn’t really sure if he had understood me. My voice had been so warped that I might as well have been snarling at him like an animal.**

**I slowly reached out for him with my claw, and if he had been quivering with fright before, he was vibrating now. And you know what happens to man who are frightened when they fear for their lives? They either flee, freeze or fight, and I had gotten myself a fighter.**

**Before my arm was fully extended he swung his sword in the air, hissing and screaming and barreling forward. I could see in his eyes that sudden bravery had taken hold of him and he was going in for the kill.**

**I took a few steps backward but wasn’t quick enough, the tip of his sword ricocheting my abdomen, drawing a small line of blood from a shallow cut. That angered me. Pathetic creature making a God bleed!**

**Still the man pressed on and I could hear shouts coming from behind.**

**Again I panicked and fueled by my rage I grabbed hold of the blade, twisting it out of the man’s hands and with a scream he let go.**

**“Stop screaming! I command you to listen to me!” I tried again, but to no avail. I didn’t matter that he was unarmed, the man was probably living on pure adrenaline and it was either kill or be killed. He flung himself at me, punching, kicking, screaming and even trying to bite me.**

**I had enough of him. This wasn’t going to work and he needed to be silent now or I would have the other villagers on my back soon.**

**With a flick of my wrist I snapped the man’s neck, dropping him lifeless to the muddy ground, a little twitch of pleasure running through my veins, before I turned and ran from the scene.**

**I tried to silence my chains while I moved but on the occasion they rattled, giving my whereabout away.**

**Eventually I reached my cave and crawled deep within its bowls.**

“You could’ve just ran without killing the man,” Sterre said as a matter of fact.

“I could have, I didn’t,” Loki said casually. “At the time a life more or less wasn’t really a problem - it still isn’t.”

Sterre flew up from her snuggling and gave him an angry look. “You can’t possibly mean that!”

“You Humans breed like rabbits with your short life-spans,” he countered condescending.

She slapped him on the arm. It wasn’t playful but it wasn’t meant to hurt either - not that she was able to anyway. “Well Trickster God, you don’t mind  _ practicing  _ reciprocating either!” she scolded him. “Not to mention that you even fucked a horse!”

Loki grinned at her, highly amused by her words. “You want me to continue the story or do you want me t-”

“Finish the story,” she grumbled, not letting him finish his proposal and she scooted to the other side of the couch, sitting cross-legged from him.

**This went on for many days as I traveled from town to town, trying to reason with the Mortals but they wouldn’t listen. Every time I appeared I was met with hostility, and truth to be told, I might have done the same had I been a Human.**

**By now I had grown weary of it all. I couldn’t shift back to my normal form and with that I wasn’t even able to pull any mischief now that I was on Midgard - something I truly missed. But my problem had a higher priority than wrecking havoc and chaos and there would be plenty of time left once I was freed again.**

**With a lot of effort I had wrapped the loose-hanging chain around my arm so it wouldn’t make any sound, and I had done the same for the one protruding from my ribs, wrapping it around my torso. Then I set out to the nearest village to try for what felt like the hundredth time.**

**As I approached the town in the dusk I heard someone scream. Carefully not to be spotted I crept closer and saw how a man dragged a child into a barn and closed the door with a bang, locking it from the outside.**

**“A night in the shed might teach you some humblence girl,” he barked loud enough for the child to hear and he stalked back to the farmers house that lay adjacent to it.**

**I could hear the child wail in misery and an idea sprang to mind.**

**Adults were prejudiced as they had been taught to fear the unknown, children on the other hand were still pliable and full of wonder and I might be able to get the aid of a younger human being.**

**I waited for the night to fall fully before I silently crept to the barn. The child had gone silent and was either soundlessly crying in fear or sleeping.**

**I glanced at the lock on the door. It would be easy enough to open and I wrapped my claws around it, crushing the feeble metal.**

**“Who is there?” a quivering voice called out.**

**I smirked - the child was still awake.**

**Carefully I pried the door open, my claws folding around the wood as I did so. Once inside I looked around, searching for the child but I could not see her. I stayed put to listen and I could hear the girl’s distressed breath in the silence of the night.**

**Moving forward to the sound, my heart filled with hope at the prospect of aid.**

**The surge of hope was so high that I failed to spot the table in the middle of the barn and banged against it. I cursed under my breath. The chain that was feebly wrapped around my torso came undone from its perch and with a loud clang and a rattle the end fell on the wooden floor.**

**“Girl, I can hear you,” I called out, the rawness of my voice still unsettling me. “Come out of hiding, I will not harm you.” My words were probably not very reassuring but I had to try something. Of course, the girl didn’t show and I started to move around, this time more careful than I previously had been.**

**Quickly I found the girl who was sitting in a corner, her arms wrapped around her knees, her face tear-stricken.**

**“Come here,” I bade her.**

**“Please, don’t hurt me, I’ll never do it again,” the girl said quivering. “I promise I’ll be good!”**

**I furrowed my brows. I didn’t know what stories adults spun on their spouse but this girl was paralyzed with terror and must have thought I was a demon who came to punish her for some naughty behavior.**

**“Oh, you will be,” I chuckled and reached for her. An ear-deafening scream escaped from her throat, the sound going through marrow and bone, and my ears were ringing from it.**

**I tried to sush her but she wouldn’t listen and just kept on screaming on the top of her lungs.**

“Please don’t tell me you killed her too to silence her,” Sterre asked softly with awe.

Loki shook his head. “No.”

**Shouts erupted from the farmers house, followed by a barking dog and I could hear the door banging open.**

**“Marie!” the male - presumably her father - called out as I could hear him draw nearer to the barn.**

**Another curse and I quickly made for the door. When I set foot outside the man was already in front of me.**

**“Step aside, Mortal,” I growled and bared my teeth at him. The man seemed numb-stricken with fear, clutching his shovel and his eyes going wide. I could see a dark splotch on his trousers forming around the area of his groin.**

**A pang of glee ran through my veins at the Human’s fear but I didn’t want to dwell and thus I took off in the night again.**

**The next night I set out to the same village to see if the girl would be locked up in the barn again, but no such thing was the case. However, another opportunity presented itself.**

**I heard some distressed calls and I made for the sound. Humans were bustling around back and fro between a couple of houses, shouts erupting and someone heavily wounded was being carried out of one of the houses.**

**The Human looked more dead than alive but still found the resilience to mumble something about her child being alone in the house.**

**I didn’t question my good fortune and quickly entered the house to find a sleeping child in the backroom.**

**“Wake up child,” I said while trying not to look to threatening, hovering in the doorway.**

**With bleary eyes the child opened his eyes and immediately started to shiver in fear. Again I explained that I meant no harm, telling the child I needed help and also this one started to plead and beg that he would be good.**

**I really grew curious now as what to hell-spawned tales these mortals spun - they could aid me in some mischief later - but for now I led it slide again.**

**Of course the boy screamed eventually no matter how hard I tried to convince him I meant no harm, and I found myself fleeing back to the forest again.**

**More days and nights passed as I tried to find a child who would be able to help me.**

**I discovered that the easiest ones to approach were the ones that were singled out and alone, and it seemed Midgardian custom to punish children by locking them in the barn for the night. The children always responded the same. They begged, told me they would be good and pleading for their life.**

**I felt trapped as it seemed that nobody would be able to help me, let alone listen to me, and that realisation left a sour taste on my tongue as it sounded a lot like what had happened on Asgard.**

**Locked up in chains, my magic cut off, looking like a demon and nobody to talk to, I felt lost and alone.**

**Sometimes I felt an itch underneath my skin and it had taken me some time to realize that it was my Seidr that demanded to be used. I could not, and thus I ignored it.**

**Maybe I should just give up on my hunt and try to find a way back to the Realm Eternal. Facing the All-father and some meager punishment began to sound sweeter and sweeter with each passing day.**

**More than once had I wondered why the Bifrost hadn’t opened in front of my nose yet, a seething All-father appearing in front of me, or the solemn Heimdall to collect me. Maybe this was my father's way of punishing me instead of the end of a whip. More likely was that they thought me lost. And even more sour tasted the notion that maybe they didn’t care.**

**After another fruitless night I wandered into a cave nearby a larger settlement - a city the Humans called it. A speck on the map I called it.**

**Weary and alone I curled up to the back wall and my eyes fluttered shut as I dreamed of the golden city from which I was locked out. I dreamed about running free again, not held back by chains and magic. I dreamed about my mother teaching me Seidr.**

**In the end my dream turned into the nightmare I was currently living - a monster trapped on a foreign realm, shunned by everyone for the rest of his life.**

**When I woke in the morning, my mind still lingering on the ending of my nightmare, I felt something clinging to my being. Hands were gripping my fur and a little bit of panic blossomed in my heart.**

**Had the citizens found me? Would they be here to end me? The panic roared more viciously to live but I tried to remain as calm as could and I slowly opened my eyes.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything in bold is Loki telling his story from the first POV.

**When I opened my eyes I spotted a small boy that was clinging to my chainless arm, a sleepy mumble escaping his lips as I moved.**

**“Boy, let go off me.” I nudged him.**

**He opened his sleepy eyes and for a moment nothing seemed to happen and then he was suddenly wide awake. “You can talk!” he exclaimed gleefully and jumped to his feet, suddenly wide awake. “I didn’t know that things that felt so soft could talk.”**

**My face screwed up in confusion at the blatant words of the boy, my brain not fully catching on what exactly was happening. One question burned my tongue as I sat upright and before I could catch the words they were out.**

**“Why are you not afraid of me?” I asked while completely failing to keep the bafflement from my voice.**

**“Why should I be?” the boy asked innocently and sat down on the cold, stone floor, his legs crossed and his undivided attention on me.**

**“Because- because…” For a moment I was at a loss for words and then softly I admitted. “Because I look like a demon.”**

**The boy chuckled softly and then spoke deadpanned, “I cannot see you thus such prejudices don’t apply to me.”**

**It was only now that he was sitting upright, the sunlight catching his face from the entrance, that I noticed the boy’s eyes were milky white, concluding that he was blind.**

**I let out a soft humm and regarded the boy for a moment. He couldn’t be older than ten summers, yet he bore an air around himself that indicated that he was much wiser than others of his age. Probably wrought from his disability.**

**“Why did you stay here? I could have been a dangerous animal and killed you,” I bit a little vicious, still slightly baffled by the boy who didn’t seem to shy away from me nor did he seem affected by my sneer.**

**He tapped his nose. “Smell. You didn’t smell like any wild animal I know of and I just took a change,” he shrugged.**

**I nodded slowly. “What’s your name?”**

**“Aris. And yours?”**

**“Loki.”**

**The boy chuckled. “If you don’t want me to tell your name you don’t have to use a fake one.”**

**Again my brows furrowed and then it suddenly dawned on me that the Mortals worshipped the Aesir as Gods, including me. Well, not me. Sometimes. Humans took more to the other Gods than me, but still.**

**The boy must be thinking that I was joking and I chuckled in response. “Let’s just keep it with Loki, alright?”**

**Aris nodded and smiled at me, the warm gesture sending a pang of delight through my veins. It had been awhile since someone had smiled at me, let alone it be genuine.**

**My curiosity was piqued. Maybe this boy could help me getting rid of those shackles with their wicked runes, but I was curious about him as well.**

**“How did you end up here?”**

**“I was delivering a letter but it was turning quite late. I must have miscounted as I tried to deliver the post as quickly as possible and I ended up outside the city.”**

**“You can count?” I blurted baffled, knowing that Midgardians weren’t often taught to count, especially not boys - something lacking in my opinion.**

**“Well yes. Seeing I can’t wield a sword-” and Aris waved his hand in front of his eyes “-mother thought it was useful to teach me at least something, therefore she taught me numbers. It is very useful as I use it to count my steps and make my way through the city. Until last night...” he trailed pouting.**

**I was silent for a moment, milling over his words. “A post-boy? How does that even happen to someone that is blind?” I asked sarcastically. “Don’t you just bump into everything and everyone?”**

**The boy clacked his tongue a couple of times and I thought he was mocking me. Already my anger started to rise at the rude gesture but he clarified his action quickly. “I use my hearing to navigate. And one who can’t read will surely not read your private writings. Royals are very fond of me as I became a quick runner and they often pay me well enough.”**

**“Most of you can’t read,” I muttered under my breath in disdain - humans were barbaric.**

**“Correct, though many try and the letter ends up delivered with a damaged or broken sigal. I don’t even try that,” he laughed. “And I have no interest in the contents either.”**

**Silence fell as I didn’t know what to say - didn’t want to say anything about it. Yet Aris felt more talkative than me. “What are you?” he blurted. “You can speak but your voice is so gruff. I can hear you move about, hear hooves clacking on the floor, you have fur yet you don’t seem animalistic. What… Just what are you?”**

**“** **_That_ ** **is a very rude question,” I snidely said. As if this child was going to believe that I am a God who had a little accident and was now dependent on Mortal’s help.** **_His_ ** **help. Yet I finally had what I came for, someone who didn’t meet me with a pitchfork or screams of terror straight away.**

**“Sorry,” Aris mumbled and he just stared at me.**

**I sighed, the weight of the fact that I needed help settling in, even if it marred my pride.**

**“I could use some help,” I started with a wry voice. “There are chains and shackles on my person and I need them to get off, but they are locked.”**

**“What is is in it for me?” Aris asked innocently but I saw the corner of his lips twitch.**

**I tilted my head, a movement he didn’t catch and anger briefly flared in my eyes. To bargain with a God, dangerous but also very smart of him not to take a leap of faith. The rich Humans had taught him well.**

**“I will pay you handsomely,” I bribed - a lie - for I had no golden coins. Aris shrugged as if he didn’t care for the coins. “And I let you sleep sticking to my fur and I haven’t killed you yet,” I continued on a much more dangerous tone, my irritation evoked at his dismissive gesture.**

**Then Aris laughed and put his hands in the air in a conceding manner. “No need to get hostile. I’ll help you,” he laughed and hauled himself to his feet. “Can I see the chains?”**

**I felt my features contort in confusion and when I didn’t answer, Aris probably sensed my puzzlement. He put his hands in the air again and wiggled his fingers. “** **_See_ ** **,” he emphasized.**

**Without thinking I straightened my back to look more menacing. He thought he was allowed to touch me again? The thought alone send a shiver of disgust down my spine. His sticky Human hands in my fur,** **_on my person_ ** **, but if I wanted the help he would need to ‘see’ them.**

**With a grunt I halfly admitted to his question, grabbing his wrist, my talons wrapping around his arm, and guiding his fingers to the chains so he wouldn’t touch me anywhere else.**

**Aris stiffened under my grip, the sensation of my claws probably feeling very unnatural to him, but when he felt the cold metal and figured I was not going to harm him, he visibly relaxed and started to explore the chains.**

**“What do the scribbles on them mean?” he asked as his fingers skimmed across the shackles.**

**“Nothing for you to concern yourself with.” The sensation of the Mortal child touching me had irking me more than I thought it would.**

**Aris’ hands fell to his side in defeat, I little hurt crossing his face, but I didn’t care. He nodded. “I think I know someone who might be able to help.”**

**“Good,” I grunted, a dismiss as good as any but Aris didn’t move to leave to fetch the needed person. “Why are you still here?”**

**“I told you, I got lost yesterday and I can’t find my way back to the city alone. I have no idea where I am so if you want my help you need to help me first,” he answered irritated.**

**I sighed. Weak Humans.**

**When dusk settled I brought Aris back to the outskirts of the city and went back to my hideout. For the first time since arriving on Midgard I didn’t venture into the night to seek out someone who could help me and it made me quite impatient.**

**This whole ordeal was taking long enough now and I longed to be free again. My Seidr had grown as a magical bubble below my skin that demanded to be released - a sensation that I hadn’t felt before. It left me itching and irritated.**

**I had read somewhere that if the magic of sorcerers got locked away long enough they could experience a magical combust of sorts; eating it’s wielder from the inside and I started to fear that would quickly become the case for me if the shackles didn’t come off soon.**

**It still struck me as odd that nobody from Asgard had come for me by now and I started to doubt if Heimdall was even able to see me.**

**For the remainder of the night Aris didn’t return and by the time it was noon the next day I was pacing impatiently around, angered that he had made me wait so long.**

**“Loki, are you there?” the boy called out.**

“How did Aris know his way back?”

Loki raised an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know, I didn’t ask. It really is not of importance.”

**“Took you long enough,” I hissed as he entered my little sanctuary, another child in tow who immediately started to shiver the moment he laid eyes upon me.**

**“Uhm, Aris. Are you sure about this?” the other boy asked with a squealing voice.**

**Aris nodded and moved closer to me. “He won’t harm you though he is a little skittish and doesn’t seem overly fond of touch.”**

**“Standing right here, Aris!” I barked at him. “I’m not an animal.” Anger flared within me as the child blatantly talked about me as if I wasn’t there - as if I didn’t have a voice.**

**“He doesn’t seem friendly,” the other child remarked as he slowly edged closer, his eyes wide in fright and his muscles pulled taut, ready to dart.**

**I growled in the back of my throat showing my dismay at being ignored again by these lowly creatures. The other child almost jumped out of his boots at the gutteral sound I made. A little smile formed on my lips at that, though I think neither of the children picked up on that.**

**“Loki, this is Ayvir, he is the son of the blacksmith,” Aris introduced them and he sat down on the stone floor, crossing his legs.**

**I gave Ayvir a skeptical look, seizing him up and down and then sighed. I had to set my pride aside to accept the help though it was a bitter sensation to swallow.**

**On the other hand I had to admit that Aris had been clever. If anyone knew how to get these manacles of my person than it would be a blacksmith - or his son in this case.**

**“I- I have to uhm… examine the chains to- to…” Ayvir stuttered as he looked at me with those big and frightful orbs of him.**

**I gave him a hard stare and then beckoned him closer, my talons obviously making the boy fear me even more. I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to harm you, boy,” I said snidely. “There would be no use for me to do so.”**

**Hesitatingly Ayvir shambled forward while he kept a wary eye on me. Carefully he stuck out his hands to touch the shackles and when I didn’t move or make any indication that I was going to harm him, he became a little less frightened.**

**He examined the metal while I held still and tried to banter down my dismay.**

**“I don’t know what these are made of, but I have never encountered this type of metal in my life before,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m also not familiar with the signing on them, but I cannot read so what do I know?”**

**“Useless,” I snarked and Ayvir made a little jump at that, quickly scurrying back to Aris.**

**“Maybe with enough heat we could break them but something tells me that is not going to work. We would have to get you into the city unseen and you are very big, and standing out with the claws and the horns, and I’m not sure th-”**

**One angry glare from me silenced the rambling son of the blacksmith and I let out a frustrated sigh.**

**Both boys seemed to bristle at that and I reeled in my temper.**

**“Any other ideas?” I asked them through gritted teeth.**

**They were silent for a moment and then Ayvir spoke. “Maybe Leif can help us.”**

**“I’m not going to ask him,” Aris said as his head whipped in the direction of the other boy, slightly looking past him at the stone wall. “He detests me and he will ask a heavy price.”**

**“What is Leif?” and I sank down to the floor to sit, rubbing my claws over my face with exhaustion.**

**“He is… ah, a kid from the streets with uhm- specific skills,” Aris vaguely said.**

**“I’m not the authorities.” Well, I was but not on this realm and definitely not now. “Spill it!”**

**“He is a thief and a very good lock-picker,” Ayvir spoke this time, his voice still wavering a little. “But he will ask for a price.”**

**“Go fetch him,” I commanded. “If he is successful in getting these chains off I will reward him,” I lied.**

**Quickly the boys scrambled off leaving me alone once more.**

**It turned out that that Aris had a tendency of keeping me waiting because he and Ayvir returned when the sun was dipping low in the sky, the boy called Leif in tow.**

**He was older than the other two, looked more menacing and for someone living on the street he held himself with arrogance. He proved to be a bothersome child immediately as he saw me and spoke without fear. “Wow, you are a sore sight for the eyes.”**

**“Well, you’re not exactly a noble steed either,” I retorted harsh, anger already burning in my veins for his rudeness. Who did this Human think he was?**

**“Leif, don’t be stupid,” Ayvir jumped in. “He will tear you to pieces.”**

**Leif narrowed his eyes at Ayvir, threat hanging in the air. This really wasn’t the time for these small Humans to bicker in front of me and I smothered their behavior quickly with a dangerous growl. The only real threat in the cave was me.**

**Without hesitating Leif moved to me, grabbed my shackled wrist and inspected the lock. I had to suppress the tendency to strike him for touching me without permission but he quickly let me go.**

**“Yes, I can open those,” he flicked casually while moving around the space of my little cave, taking up the scenery of the dreadful place. “What is in it for me?”**

**This young man was really arrogant and if he was afraid of me, he didn’t show. I already disliked him a lot.**

**“What do you want?” I asked coldly, making my voice sounding even more gruff than before to see if I could instill some fear or respect in him.**

**Leif tapped his index finger to his lips, seeming to think on the offer but I knew he had already made up his mind. It was easy enough to see through a trick I so often used myself. I patiently waited for him to speak again though the tendency to rip him to pieces grew with every passing second.**

**“Ten golden coins,” Leif finally said and Aris gasped.**

**Ten golden coins was a lot of money for Humans, especially a street-rat as Leif. I really didn’t feel like bargaining but I knew that if I didn’t offer a counter proposal he wouldn’t take me serious.**

**“You can have one,” I said cold.**

**“Eight!”**

**“** **_One_ ** **.”**

**Leif gave me a hard glare and I saw him biting the inside of his cheek. “Five, and that is my final offer. I’m not the one who is bound by iron.”**

**I growled in the back of my throat but the bargain actually pleased me. Little did the young man know that he would never get his coins. “Fine,” I condescended reluctantly. “Five golden coins.”**

**Leif nodded and stuck out his hand to seal the deal and I didn’t waste a single heartbeat to wrap my claws around his fingers, making his bones gnash as I squeezed a little harder than was necessary.**

**“I still need that hand to open the locks,” he grated between clenched teeth.**

**I only returned those words with a wicked grin, my pointy teeth showing, but let go of his hand.**

**Leif moved through the cave, pushing Ayvir from a rock he was sitting on and grabbed something from the pocket of his coat.**

**He unrolled the leather binding, showing multiple tools used for burglary. “Come here,” he commanded and again I had to swallow my pride at his demand. He wasn’t the Prince under this shabby roof, I was!**

**I took me the time-span of a few heartbeats, fixing him with a cold stare to show him I was not some kind of animal or child he could coax at his will before I moved to him.**

**Still Leif was unfazed by my display of power and he only motioned for me to sit down on the floor in front of him. He gestured again, demanding my shackled wrist.**

**I narrowed my eyes at him but for now I complied. Once I got my powers back I would make sure this rude boy would know his place.**

**Ayvir watched with fascination as Leif started to pry at the mechanics of the lock and even I didn’t waste the opportunity to learn. Picking a lock could be of use later though right now I couldn’t phantom what use exactly.**

**Aris on the other hand seemed plain bored, absentmindedly tracing unseen patterns on the floor with his index finger, his head resting on his other hand as he waited. I briefly wondered if the blind kid even knew what he was drawing on the stone.**

**Leif was taking his sweet time, or the lock was harder to pick than he had imagined, I do not know which one, but time passed by and with every passing minute I could feel my Seidr grow more restless. It almost felt as if my magic knew what was happening and became more vicious in its assault to get out.**

**After what seemed like an eternity a distinct clicking sound resonated through the silent cave and the shackle fell from my wrist.**

**Everyone seemed to hold their breath for a moment but nothing happened. At least, it looked like nothing happened but to me it felt as if my Seidr came down on my like a tidal-wave. Still I could not reach it.**

**The other shackle was still caught between my ribs and I felt my Seidr violently bashing against it from deep within my being. The banter didn’t hurt but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling either and I gnashed my teeth.**

**“Turn around, creature,” Leif demanded. “I’ll open the other one as well.”**

**Oh, how I wanted to backhand that child but I would have to wait a little longer to take my revenge on him and I did as he told me.**

**He started to pry at the lock, the movement of the shackle that was brought forth by the prying irritating my flesh. It was a weird sensation between being an itch and pain but it was manageable.**

**When the locked clicked open I really didn’t knew what to expect, but again I felt a surge of disappointment as nothing happened while my Seidr was still burning in my veins.** **_Painfully_ ** **.**

**“Did it work?” Aris asked softly.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part of this christmas fic. I hope you enjoyed it. Everything in bold is Loki telling his story from the first POV.

**I looked down at the manacle that was still protruding from between my ribs and the unpleasant realisation that I would have to pull it from my flesh dawned on me.**

**_That_ ** **was going to hurt.**

**Carefully I hooked a talon underneath the metal in my flesh and started to pry. It hurt-**

“Okay, stop it!” Sterre said with a look of horror. “I get the picture. It hurted and was probably messy and grose. I don’t need the details.”

Loki chuckled. Frail mortal. “Well, yes it was indeed painful but eventually I got it out.”

“Did anything happen?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Yes…”

**The moment I let go of the metal my Seidr barreled over me with such an overwhelming force it left a ringing in my ears and I didn’t even hear the chains falling to the floor.**

**It almost seemed as if my Seidr tried to make up for the lost weeks, finally free from its confinement and the world around me shrouded itself in green light. I felt my body shift back to Aesir and a relieved sigh escaped my lips as the light around me subsided.**

**When I could see again Ayvir and Leif were staring at me with their mouths open and even Aris seemed unsettled. I put on a wicked smile. “Well, that is certainly better.”**

**Leif was the first to recover from the shock, as I had expected, and he immediately jumped to business, holding up his hand and demanding payment.**

**Ayvir, however, shoved him aside and stared at me with big eyes. “You really are a God!”**

**“God or not, I want my golden coins. I deserve them,” Leif interjected and shoved the other boy roughly back, making him fall to the floor.**

**“You little cur deserve nothing more than I flogging,” I roared at him, my anger and disdain for the street-rar finally catching up with me now I had come down from the high of my Seidr-rush. “You are rude, greedy and deserve to be the street-rat that you are,” I snapped and menacingly I stalked towards him.**

**Leif still didn’t seem fazed by that even though he had witnessed my magical outburst first hand. Apparently I was threatening enough as Aris and Ayvir scrambled to the far end of the cave to give me some space; Leif apparently lacked the brains to scurry away.**

**“That is not fair!” Leif whined. “I helped you and now you berate me. I want what was promised to me,” he said and stomped his foot to the floor to emphasize his words.**

**I stood now directly in front of the young man who had tilted his chin up in what looked like defiance, but also to be able to look me in the eye.**

**“Oh, you will get what was promised to you,” and a wicked grin spread across my lips as I grabbed him by the front of his tunic and dragged him outside. Behind me I could hear Aris and Ayvir squirm but with one barked command I silenced them.**

**Once outside the cave I pressed my palm to Leif’s forehead and I searched his mind, messing with his memories. It was a bit messy as I wasn’t very educated in the matters of the mind yet, but it served its purpose and I when I was done I let go of him and he slumped unconscious to the ground.**

**I didn’t know if I had pulled the memory from his mind or had just scrambled them. Either way, I didn’t care.**

“You are evil!” Sterre berated him.

“I never said I wasn’t,” the God said cold.

“But he freed you!”

“Yes, he did but he was also a culprit and rude, two things I do not take kindly to and you know that,” Loki spat while his eyes flared up dangerously.

Sterre didn’t say anything for she knew better than to press those buttons, and instead she just inched closer to him and he wrapped an arm around her before he continued.

**Aris and Ayvir were shivering when I returned to them.**

**“What did you do to him?” Aris asked.**

**Immediately Ayvir followed with a squealing voice riddled with fright, “are you going to kill us?”**

**I chuckled and gave them both a little smile. “I gave him what was promised to him,” I said mysterious and threw Ayvir a wink. “And no, I’m not going to kill you.”**

**They both nodded meekly still a little bit frightened.**

**I sat down on the floor, cross-legged to oppose less of a thread. “What is it you want, Ayvir?”**

**The boy’s eyes grew wide and he stumbled over words again before he could form a coherent sentence. “You promised us gold, right?”**

**“I did, but is that truly what you want or is there more your heart desires? Gold is just gold, and you just concluded I am a God, therefore I can grant you much more than some simple coins.”**

**Ayvir visibly relaxed and tapped his index finger on his lip, seeming to think about something when his eyes spotted the chains still lying on the floor. “Can I have those chains? I think we would be able to forge a magnificent weapon or something else from it.”**

**“How are you going to forge something from it if you don’t know what type of metal it is and how to work it?” I asked with a skeptical look while I picked them up from the floor.**

**Wicked pieces of metal.**

**The boy nodded. “That is true,” he conceded. “Then I want-”**

“Wait! What did you do with the chains?”

“I stored them away in one of my dimensional pockets for later use,” Loki shrugged but Sterre caught the gleam in his eyes.

“You used them?” she asked, already dreading the answer.

“I used them on Odin once to see if they would stop his All-fatherly powers,” he chuckled. “They didn’t work,” he clarified as he saw the unspoken question on her face. “And the action earned me a firm reprimand and a punishment,” he smirked.

“Do I want to know how he punished you?”

“Probably not, but let’s just say I’ve felt the bite of the whip more in my life than I care for,” and Loki laughed.

“How can you laugh at that? It’s just awful.”

“I already told you; I am the God of Mischief and I would be a bad sports if I wasn’t willing to take the brunt for my tricks on the occasion,” he smiled at her.

“Yet you fled from your punishment in this story,” she flicked casually.

“I did,” he spoke serious. “I didn’t deserve this punishment as it hadn’t been my fault.”

“Well…” She let the words hang in the air.

Loki raised an eyebrow, his tone becoming more threatening, his eyes bearing a dangerous gleam. “Are you going to object me?”

Sterre quickly shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. Please continue. What did Ayvir wanted in return?”

**“Then I’ll settle for golden coins. There isn’t anything else I want,” Ayvir shrugged. “But if you don’t have them, that is fine.”**

**“Aris, what do you want?” I asked, shifting my focus to the other boy.**

**“Nothing,” the boy shrugged. “I already have all that I desire.”**

**I studied the boy’s face. I could not detect a lie and it struck me that even though the boy didn’t have much - and was blind on top of that - he was content with what he had. He was selfless, kind and hadn’t been prejudiced when he had met me the first time; traits even I could appreciate.**

**I sighed. One boy wanted the impossible, the other didn’t want anything and I didn’t know what to do with that. I looked outside and noticed that the sun was already dipping low on the horizon. “The night is falling and I think it is time for me to leave,” I said with a sigh as I got up.**

**“Where are you going?” asked Aris.**

**I threw him a mischievous smile which he of course couldn’t see. “I’ll go there where Gods go,” I answered cryptic.**

**Then I made for the boys and called for my Seidr, my hands glowing green. Ayvir looked at me with frightful eyes but before he could say or do anything, my hands already collided with both of their heads. “Sleep,” I mumbled and both of them slumbed to the floor.**

**I crouched down next to Ayvir and took his memories, though this time I was more careful and gentle than I had been with Leif, making sure there would be no damage to his mind.**

**It was easier too, and I think I managed without damaging him.**

**I did the same to Aris and then I left.**

“You didn’t gave them any payment for their efforts?” Sterre said with dismay.

Loki shook his head. “No, I left them both with a gift.”

“What were they?” she asked curious.

A wistful smile formed on Loki’s lips. “When Aris woke he would be able to see as I cured his blindness, and Ayvir would wake up next to five golden coins.”

Sterre smiled at him.

“Never again say I’m not benevolent,” he winked.

“And then you returned to Asgard again?”

“Oh no!” Loki exclaimed. “I was far from done. I was finally on Midgard without anyone breathing down my neck and it was time to pull some mischief,” and a twinkle formed in his eyes, his lips tugging at their corners.

“What did you do?”

“I traveled from town to town, especially the towns I had previously visited, and heard their stories. They all told of a monster who had kidnapped disobedient children. When the children were returned, they were behaving again,” Loki smirked. “During the nights I turned back to that furry monster, creating havoc and striking fear in the heart of the townsfolk. The stories quickly spread out through the surrounding towns and now that I had full control of my Seidr again it was fun. It improved my ability to shapeshift as well. After a week I was so apt at shifting, I had reduced the time it took by half. I even dared some animal-forms. It was still difficult but I was learning.”

Sterre nodded slowly. “Well, I said this earlier this evening, and I’m going to say it again. It still does not explain why you loathe the holidays so much.”

“That is because this retelling hasn’t ended yet...”

**One morning when I woke I had ran out of luck. Nothing lasts forever and neither did this as the Bifrost opened in front of my nose, the All-father himself, my brother and a lot of Einherjar stepping out of the lights and I knew my time on Midgard was at an end for now.**

**I didn’t want to leave yet, there was still so much more mischief to make with these Mortals.**

**At the command of my father the Einherjar seized me, luckily without chains. I didn’t resist them - I know a futile fight when I see one - and just came along. Heimdall transported us back to Asgard.**

**Apparently Odin didn’t want to waste a single minute and when we arrived at the palace I was immediately presented in front of the throne for trial.**

**“We’re going to continue where we ended a few weeks ago?” I asked as I fixed me father with a defiant glare.**

**“Again you disappoint me, Loki,” my father berated me and I cringed. No-one wants to hear from their parents they are a disappointment, not even Gods. “You fled from the punishment of your previous crimes.”**

**“Your previous assessment was unfair. I tried to explain it to you but you wouldn’t listen,” I answered with a sigh. I knew this battle was also futile but something within me told me I shouldn’t relent my fight. If I did, it would only make things worse. And if that wasn’t the case, if I currently was making things worse, than I would settle for that. At least I stayed true to myself.**

**“Then you should have waited for me to speak with you.” Odin said calmly; a little too calm.**

**“You had already made up your mind. Would it have made any difference,** **_father_ ** **?” I bit at him. “Would you have listened to my side of the story after you dismissed me the first time?”**

**The All-father was silent for a moment before he spoke in that same, eerie and calm tone. “It might have.”**

**“Don’t lie to me!” I almost screamed, my anger taking over my rationality for a brief moment and I heavily breathed out through my nose to compose myself.**

**“Know your place, boy!” my father howled back and I cringed inwardly.**

**My anger froze in my veins and turned to indifference and my tone was cold when I spoke. “And once again you are not going to listen to my side of the story?”**

**“Heimdall has seen what you have done. I had hoped that you had learned something on Midgard.”**

**I had to refrain myself from rolling my eyes and instead just stared at him without emotion.**

**“Yet, once freed, you created chaos and havoc again, both on Asgard and Midgard. I cannot let that go unpunished,” he continued. “Let this be a lesson from which you might learn…”**

“And so, for the next hundred years, three weeks every year the Einherjar collected me and put me in a cell in the dungeons,” Loki finished with a wry grimace on his face.

Sterre was silent for a moment, nodding absentmindedly before her eyes shifted into focus again, a horrified expression crossing her face. “Three weeks for a hundred years? That is twenty-one-thousand days, which is-” she briefly stopped to do the math before she continued, “-that is almost six entire years together!”

Loki nodded. “Every year from the fifth of december until the twenty-fifth of december they would lock me away in the dungeons of Asgard without access to my Seidr.”

“That is just-”

“Cruel? Yes, you mentioned that before. Twice,” Loki interrupted her. “Now you see why I don’t like the holidays?”

“I suppose,” she said with a timid voice. “I’m not saying you weren’t at fault, nevertheless I’m sorry that it happened, Loki,” she said and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight.

“Well, it was a long time ago, so don’t fret over it too much. But now you understand why I dread this earthly holiday.”

She nodded and then yawned. The hour had already grown late. Loki’s story hadn’t been a short one, and that combined with the warmth of the fire in the hearth and the alcohol in her system made her a little drowsy.

Loki stroked her hair as her head still rested on his lap. “Sleep now, Little One,” he purred with a soft voice.

Her eyelids grew heavy and the world became black as she closed them. She lay there on his lap, just enjoying the fact that they were together while she slowly started to drift off.

Just before her mind would be engulfed by blissful sleep a thought suddenly sprang to her mind and with a jolt she sat upright, staring at him with big eyes. “ _ You  _ are Krampus!” she exclaimed, suddenly wide awake.

Loki chuckled and threw her a wink as he spoke. “Well, the legends have to come from somewhere.”

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)


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